CAN I JUST ADD THAT IN THE 40-ISH MINUTES OF SLEEP I GOT
THE ONLY DREAM I HAD INVOLVED ME TRYING TO GO SWIMMING, BUT MICHAEL PHELPS GOT IN THE FUCKING POOL AND TOLD ME TO GO BUY HIM SWEDISH FISH LIKE I WAS HIS BITCH OR SOMETHING?
And I was so bitter that I bought him Swedish fish and then jumped on his back because I knew there were security cameras, and then I went and covered the security camera and left so the guards would think we fucked, and then stills from me jumping on his back were published and there was a big brouhaha over the whole thing while I sat back eating my own bag of Swedish fish and taking contentment in the turmoil he was experiencing caused by his choice to treat me like his slave just because he’s an amazing (yeah I’ll admit it) swimmer.
I’m even a devious douchebag in my dreams.
